Befriending the Evil Inside Me..

What if everyone believes that your the kindest person they’ve ever met? How will you let them see your rage when anger strikes you? That’s really difficult, right? Well, there are times that you don’t have to fool yourself and you have to release your real feelings. You might damage yourself when you keep your depression and all those hurt feelings inside. Sometimes, it’s better to befriend the evil inside you. But the question is, HOW?

Teens have this instinct that they have to be perfect in front of everyone. Eventually, some of them end up being the person they never were. They’re pretending to be somebody else just to please everyone.  Some of them are deprived of the freedom of showing who they really are and were confined in the thought that they MUST be what the society wants them to be.

I met one girl in a forum and she’s one of those teens out there that’s looking for freedom. I admire her strength as she tells the story of what she has been through. I’ll share them to you, not to make gossips, but to encourage everyone to be true to themselves.

She was 14 when she started serving as a volunteer in her church group. She’s enjoying her task as a youth assistant and was trying her best to be one of the role models for the kids that she’s handling. Aside from her task in assisting the youth activities, she also volunteered to be a teacher for the kids.

It was until she was accused of something that she has never done. She wanted to burst what she feels but she was afraid that her actions can affect how the whole church thinks about her. She’s known to be a very gentle girl and when she start yelling and defending herself, their impression about her will be ruined. She just sit there quietly, just listening to the thoughts that slowly kills her and breaks her heart.

Since she didn’t have the chance to defend herself, she feels like most of the people are mocking her. She developed this insecurity that kept her in her shell again. She became a loner since she thinks that everyone doesn’t want to mingle with her. She started to space out until her presence can’t be noticed anymore. Her happy and free life was destroyed with all the hurt feelings that she just hid inside. Those that are never said out loud.

She suffered a lot, and she admitted that she escaped from the problem that she had. She left their place and traveled far away, so that no one can notice her. She started living away from her family and friends, just to make sure that they won’t see the depression that’s killing her slowly.

Though she’s facing the challenge all by herself, I guess it’s not right to be one of those people that are dealing with the pain of being spaced out. I know how hard it is to deal with the emotions and no one has to suffer that again.

When you’re true to yourself, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be a lot careless and a lot rude. You just have to accept that you still have a voice for a certain issue and you don’t have to hide your true feelings. If you’re angry, go tell them. But I’m not really telling you to be as violent as possible. :D

There will be a time that you have to show the evil side of you so that people can accept you for who you really are. As a matter of fact, you have to befriend the evil inside of you so you can actually have the courage and the confidence to face all the challenges in your life. Though we can move on and heal the pain, it’s better not to start having it at all..

 

– LonelyHuntress

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