That night was one of the most difficult nights of my life.. but I have to compromise.
I remember when he was lying in my bed. I was sitting at its corner. It was so silent and I wonder who’s gonna speak first. He has his thoughts. I have my concerns. We never met that time. Understanding flew away.
“I never knew we’ll end up like this. After all these years. You never trusted me. You’re always in doubt. I wonder what’s missing. I wonder if I’ve done something wrong.” he said to me, with tears in his eyes. This is not the first time that I saw him cry. And I guess, definitely not the last.
“It’s not what I mean. Look, I trust you. I trust you more than I love you. You know that. It’s just that..”
I know he was waiting for the next words that I was about to say. I don’t know if he would believe it.
“It’s just that I don’t want to loose you.”
I know he heard that, but he don’t want to understand. I know he needs space and I guess I have to keep silent for a while.
I just went out of the room. Went straight to the kitchen and tried to cook something tasty. I know how hard it is to cook when you have a heavy heart. But I still tried to prepare something that could ease the tension.
“I wonder if he’s already sleeping. Well, I guess this meal will wait until dawn.” I don’t really know if it taste good, but I know I tried my very best to make it edible. You know..can be accepted by the taste buds.
I went inside the room, with my dish, and saw that he was just sitting.
“Where have you been? D’you really think that when you went out of the door, everything’s gonna be ok?” He’s a nagger. Well, just for today. Let it be.
“I just went out to cook something for you. Peace offering? Let’s eat and forget about that non-sense issue. I don’t want to lose you ’cause of my false accusations. I was wrong, and I’m sorry” I just gave him a sweet look and I was so glad to see him smile.
I know he wasn’t angry at me. He was just trying to say what he want to. That’s him. He’s always like that. But when you start saying sweet words to melt his hurts, you can already have his sweet smile again.
I guess my peace offering was kinda effective.
I don’t need words and punch lines just to have that Perfect Return.
I just need a savory and delicious meal for him. :)
In response to Daily Prompt: Drawing a Blank.
♥ Ayin ♥