Well, I don’t really want to call it torment, but I guess that’s the right term for it.
I’ve been in denial, but then I really miss you. Its been a while and things had changed. I can’t remember the last time I laughed genuinely. Smiled? I don’t think so. Life has been very tormenting and this pain is killing me inside.
I can remember that Thursday morning. I never wanted to leave you ’cause I know it means leaving my heart with you. I know it has ended, but I keep on telling myself we can work it out. Unfortunately, we can’t. I can’t work on this all alone. I need your help.
I’ve decided to make things clear and to stop assuming that we’ll be the same again. I was crying off my face for the previous nights and been deafened by the silence of my tears.
You’ve changed a lot. I think that’s the reason. You’ve expected more and I know I tried harder. However, i can’t reach your expectation. That’s why you never saw the sacrifices I’ve done for you.
Remember the time when I told you I’m so exhausted. I want to come back to my comfort zone. But I wanna be with you. I never want to leave you again. I tried so hard to give you all that I can. i tried, but I failed.
I guess you’ve literally earned too much that you forgot how happy we were when we enjoy simple things that we share. Remember those times when we don’t have enough budget to go out and enjoy a fine-dining restaurant? Things were simple. You can just cook simething for our dinner date at home. When you can’t buy those signature clothes, you’re satisfied with wearing something fashionable from the thrift store. When we don’t have much money to go out and enjoy those clubs and bars. We settle for a bottle of drink and stay at home, enjoying each others company.
Things changed. It hurts to know that our smooth-flowing relationship was wrecked with doubts, lack of trust, and materialistic demands.
I gave all that I can.
I guess it’s time for me to collect myself again and start all over again. If I have to go on with my life without you, let it be.
One day, when I have all the capabilities to give you all your materialistic desires, I’ll look for you and see if we can still work it out. If not, I wish i can see you happy with somebody else.
I need to space out, but I can’t.
Help me find a way.