I forgot to include the 31st of the month for my count. This must be seven days of torment. Anyway, let’s just say that the last day of the month is my killing day. ^_^
Technically, today is our second year anniversary. I will never forget the time when you’ve given me the chance to spend my life with you. That time when I had you by my side again. That moment when you said you’ve been waiting for me to come back. That joy. That gratefulness that I felt. I am so thankful for giving me the chance to prove to you that my love is real.
Its been two years, and we’ve passed too many struggles. You’ve cried for me so many times. You’ve been hurt for a million times. And most of our conflicts are made by me, my faults, and my mistakes. (Well, that’s not really true. You just want to put it that way.)
I don’t even know why I still have to run after you. This is the first time that you’ve given up on me (though you’re in denial). I’ve known you so much for the past years that we’re together. Once you’ve said NO, you actually mean you’ll let go of it and never get back into it. I guess this is what’s left for me. Being all alone.
Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to face you on the 31st. I mean, I don’t know if my heart can carry the heavy feeling of what I have to say. You mean so much to me and I never wanted to let you go. However, as I’ve told you yesterday, if giving you up is what makes you happy, I’ll be very willing to stay single than yo make your life miserable.
In my heart, you’ll always be my lover and friend. In my dreams, I’ll still be the girl that you used to love. In my thoughts will remain our sweetest moments, happiness, and hope. I never know if it’ll be the right thing to do, but in my soul, I’ll still believe that I am your lawfully wedded wife.
(I know the last statement was kinda exaggerated, but just let it be.)
My mind is decided, but my heart is battling against it.
I’ll just wait for the 31st and then see where this decision can take me.. or can take us.
I just hope I’ll have all the time in the world this 31st. All the last time with you.