It’s been a long weekend and I didn’t have the chance to update my blog during the vacation. Well, main reason is I don’t want to spend money on computer rentals just to burst my rants about this thing I have to face.
Anyway, I would like to thank all those who liked my posts from Day 6-4. I really appreciate the numbers, but I ask for your comments. Share your thoughts and advice. It’ll be a great help for me. Thanks so much!
I know my previous posts served as an open letter to somebody. This time, I’ll do a narrative stuff, and I hope you’ll continue to read this. ^_^
So, here it is..
I’ll just sum up day three and two since it was a very boring weekend. You see, I stayed at home trying to figure out that the end is near. I mean, my end is near. I’m so afraid to hear his answer. I’m so afraid to ask the questions in my head. But I believe it’s necessary. I believe it’s needed. I think this is the right time for me to spill it for the sake of my emotional stability.
He’s been acting weird during these days. He’s keeping the communication open. He’s been texting all day long, and I feel like the most important person in his life for the last two days. I feel like he’s having signs that I’m gonna talk to him and give up this long term relationship. It’s so confusing. His acts are so bothering. I can’t hold on to my decision. I feel like I can’t leave him hanging there, now that he’s trying to make up with me.
Another thing is: he cancelled our meeting this Thursday. It can be my chance to think about stuf over and over again. And could be the chance to hurt myself more. My days of torment is extended. I don’t know if I can stand it for another week, but sure as hell that I would try.
For now, I’ll be waiting for the next week to come. Go and enjoy the fun of having his attention again. And most importantly, prepare myself for the greatest decision I’ll ever have for 2013. I hope things will work out right. And I pray that God will give me the strength to move on after this tormenting days.