I don’t know if this is good news or the other way around. All I know is that I have to brace myself for another adventure that I’ve never expected.
After the long wait, I had the chance to talk to him this morning. It wasn’t easy. It’s hard to stop those tears from falling. With cracking voice, I ask him the questions I wanted to ask, and tell him the pain that I’ve been suffering ‘coz of his actions.
I asked if he’s happy when he walked away from me. He said NO. I asked if he felt complete without me, he said NO. As I gather the courage and the words to tell him it’s over between us, he hugged me tight. He held me tight and never wanted to let me go.
I know it’s not easy to let him go especially if I’m about to consider the years that we’re together. Moreover, I have to consider the fact that I still love him even if it hurts. I’ve been torn, crushed, and crumpled, but then I believe that he’ll be the only person who can make me smile again.
To all my loving friends who cried with me as I feel the pain, I’m so sorry for disappointing you. I’m so thankful for your advice, encouragement, and time. I’ve been bursting all my pain and suffering all this time, and you never get tired of listening to my litany. This happened so many times before, but you’re always there to hear what I have to say.
I know all you are waiting for the “break up” moment, especially my best friend Moi, but then it didn’t happen.
He said no.. and I’m expecting that things will be ok between us now.
Just remind me to expect less..
and preferably, start letting go in case he decided to give up.
Time for a new adventure..